Chapter Ninety: Toad Mother

What?

Baiki suddenly turned his head and gave the secretary who called herself Ohno a long, searching look from head to toe.

Yakurino Nono?

Kabuto’s mother?

That strongest female spy in the Intelligence Division, code-named the Wandering Shrine Maiden.

“W-what are you doing... why are you looking at me like that all of a sudden... I was just taking a quick look...” Nono shivered under Baiki’s piercing stare and hurriedly closed her book.

“N-no, it’s nothing. Go on.” Baiki kept staring.

So that’s how it was... That bit player had been circling around him all this time, and sure enough, besides his handsome face and unparalleled charm, she had ulterior motives!

What on earth could she be after here?

One: she wanted to rescue the prisoners.

Two: she was searching for the shadowy writer behind the slander of her master, Shimura Danzo.

Three: she coveted his looks.

Four: she wanted the mission scroll he had just received from Onoki!

Other than three... the other three possibilities seemed far-fetched!

“What is he looking at...” Nono met Baiki’s gaze and continued to act frightened.

One: he had discovered her true identity.

Two: he was coveting her beauty.

Three: there was really a codebook in those books.

Four: the secret of the Uchiha treasure was in this book!

But... other than two, the other possibilities seemed unlikely.

Their eyes locked, and mutual suspicion sparked between them.

“Miss Naya...”

“Lord Baiki...”

“May I ask, do you usually read newspapers?” Baiki asked.

“Lord Tsuchikage reads them, and I do too from time to time,” Nono replied, not knowing why he asked.

“Do you read the Bounty Gazette?”

“I’ve read some...” As the strongest spy, Nono gathered information on nearly everything. Even a trashy tabloid like this occasionally contained something worthwhile.

Lately, the paper had been printing a number of articles smearing Shimura Danzo. Rumor had it that the boss was furious and had even formed a Danzo-Defamation Task Force, ordering a full investigation into the author. Of course, such a minor matter did not require a top-tier spy like her.

“I think these pieces were written quite well, so I thought you should take a look.” Baiki picked up a stack of newspapers from the desk and handed them to Nono.

“This... ‘Shimura Danzo Cross-Dresses to Seduce the Five-Tails Jinchuriki, Gets Beaten Senseless’...” Nono twitched at the corner of her mouth. She wanted to laugh at the articles slandering her boss, but couldn’t.

Yet aside from the parts about Shimura Danzo, the rest was indeed true. Back then she was still young, receiving spy training in Root. The mission had been carried out by her senior, whose goal was to capture the young Five-Tails Jinchuriki. Unfortunately, it ended in failure. Her senior had barely survived and now handled clerical work in the intelligence department.

“That Shimura Danzo is a real piece of trash. You can lie to people about their bodies, but don’t lie to them about their feelings!” Baiki fumed.

“Uh... yes, yes...” Nono echoed awkwardly, a little nervous that he had suddenly brought up her boss.

“Truth be told, I’m the author of these righteous articles, making a little wine money by writing them,” Baiki said, astonishingly candid.

“Lord Baiki must be joking... how much could you possibly earn from writing such articles?” Nono was shocked. She never imagined these things had been written by this young man, and even more so that he would openly admit it.

“Ah, the ideals of a scholar. Speaking of money is so vulgar. Does Jiraiya of the Leaf not earn tens or hundreds of thousands of ryo from any random mission? And yet he still buries his head in his writing.” Baiki waved a hand.

“So why does Lord Baiki keep targeting that one man... do you have a grudge against him?” Nono asked curiously.

“No grudge. I just can’t stand that deadpan face of his, as if everyone owes him five million ryo.” Baiki mimicked Danzo’s corpse-like expression.

Pff...

Nono nearly laughed aloud. The imitation was far too accurate.

Seeing her cover her mouth and giggle in secret, Baiki thought the poor woman was adorable.

“So why is Lord Baiki suddenly telling me all this?” Nono asked again.

“Oh... I’ve been swamped with missions lately, and that dog of an editor has been hounding me for copy. I don’t have the time to write, and since you’re Lord Tsuchikage’s secretary... I imagine your writing skills must be second to none. I’d like to ask Miss Naya to help me sharpen my blade, so to speak. Er, for a few days, I mean...” Baiki looked sincerely into Nono’s eyes.

“N-no... no, that won’t work. I’m not good at writing... and I’m busy on the Tsuchikage’s side too.” Nono quickly waved him off. Writing articles behind the scenes to ridicule the boss was one thing, but if Shimura Danzo found out, her life would be over.

“Don’t refuse me. Just think of it as helping out. The deadline is tomorrow, and I can’t let my fans down.” Baiki took Nono’s hand and pressed her into the chair in front of the desk.

The mission scroll Onoki had given him was sitting right there on the desk. With even the slightest chance, opening it would reveal the war intelligence inside. Baiki did not believe Nono could resist such temptation.

Nono truly could not resist. The target of her mission was right there on the desk, within arm’s reach, and it concerned the fate of the entire Leaf...

So, Lord Danzo, I’m sorry...

“What’s the theme for this issue, Lord Baiki?” Nono asked, pen and paper in hand, and why did she feel a little excited inside?

“Use your imagination! The theme doesn’t matter, the content does. Make Shimura Danzo the center of it, tie it to current events, and dump every blame you can onto him.” Baiki instructed her on the art of writing.

“Fine... I’ll try.” Nono took a deep breath and began to write, while Baiki sat beside her, resting his chin in his hand and watching.

“Shimura Danzo ordered his subordinates to ambush a 69-year-old elderly man”

“Is that all right?” Nono was still somewhat restrained.

“Mmm... nice style, but the scope is too small. Write about someone everyone cares about, a famous figure, for example: ‘Shimura Danzo and Hanzo of the Salamander cheated at cards and got his hand cut off.’” Baiki offered a small suggestion.

How did he know Lord Danzo had connections with Hanzo? Nono looked at Baiki and almost grew suspicious.

“Write, write. It’s fine to exaggerate a little. If anyone dies, it’ll be the dog editor first. We’ve got someone to take the fall, so what are we afraid of? Be bold. Let loose and write!” Baiki encouraged.

“Okay...” Nono had no choice but to accept and begin writing.

Baiki no longer watched her so intently. Instead, he picked up Jiraiya’s Icha Icha Paradise and read with great relish, occasionally glancing at her. As expected of a top spy, she was remarkably calm, not once looking toward the scroll on the desk.

Five hours, ten drafts. Nono felt even writing mission reports was never this exhausting. But all her resentment toward the boss, her complaints about brutal workloads, her grumbling over having no holidays, all of it poured out through her pen. It was truly liberating.

The last two articles had no real inspiration left, and she even shamelessly adapted the ugly deeds Danzo had actually done, then submitted them in thoroughly distorted form.

Still... this guy hadn’t gone to the bathroom once in five hours, and he didn’t even pour her a cup of tea? She had not gotten a single chance to peek at the scroll.

Was she going to have to keep writing? Nono was pondering some way to distract Baiki so she could seize the chance to steal the intelligence. This was a matter that concerned the fate of the Leaf.

Then suddenly, Baiki seemed to remember something and actually took the mission scroll away.

He took it away.

After five hours of labor, Nono decided to end the mission in the most direct way possible. She wanted to rip off her stockings and slap Baiki’s face with the spikes from her high heels. I worked my fingers to the bone ghostwriting ten articles for you, offended the boss over my head, and now you’re taking the reward away?

But then, at the next moment...

“Secretary sister... this is kind of embarrassing, but there’s one character I don’t know. If I read it wrong and embarrass myself in front of everyone, could you please point it out?” Baiki unrolled the scroll, pointed to a character, and looked at her with eyes full of curiosity. “...What’s the name of this bridge?”

Seeing the mission scroll laid bare before her, Nono felt no joy at having succeeded. Instead, her heart plunged straight to freezing point...

The Leaf Village... Onoki’s target was actually the Leaf Village itself!

No matter what, she had to send this intelligence back as fast as possible! The Leaf’s defenses were unprecedentedly hollow. The entire village had fewer than five hundred defenders. If the Rock Village launched a successful surprise attack, it would mean utter destruction.

“Damn... this character is read Pi. It’s the Kanabi Bridge...”

“Ah... it’s already this late. Lord Tsuchikage will blame me. I have to go!” Nono’s steps were even a little frantic as she hurried to the door and slipped out.

...

“Gahahahaha, five hours... all bets paid out, all bets paid out. The boss is amazing.”

A group of gamblers had started placing bets the moment Nono entered Baiki’s room, wagering on how long she would stay inside.

There were bets on ten seconds, five minutes, half an hour, and two hours, but who would have thought it would be five hours?

“The boss is amazing...”

“What a beast... she can barely walk straight!”

“Hmph, so what if she’s a little bustier and her skin’s a little fairer and her hair’s a little prettier... how am I not as good as her?” Shangi puffed out his cheeks and took a vicious gulp of wine.