Chapter Sixteen

The swirling White Absolute clung to Bai Mu like a chatterbox, pouring out his longing. In truth, the two had only been apart for half a day. Bai Mu responded absently, nodding as he immersed his thoughts in the system.

"Emergency mission completed: Rescue of the Konoha patrol unit."

"Survivors: 6/10."

"Score: Masterful!"

"Note: You truly are the best actor this round."

"Reward: Random skill draw x2, 500 gold coins."

"Masterful! Masterful! Double rewards—hahaha..." Bai Mu laughed wildly inside; his almost muscle-cramping acting had paid off.

"Due to your sacrifice of fear, you have received further recognition from Ancient Fear Fiddlesticks and are granted a skill."

"Scarecrow Witch."

"Set up a scarecrow in a hidden spot beforehand. When attacked, activate this skill to instantly swap positions with the scarecrow within a fifty-meter range. The first person to see the scarecrow will be briefly terrified."

"This is basically an upgraded Body Replacement Jutsu! It fits the world of Naruto, completely different from the game." Bai Mu was thoroughly satisfied with Ancient Fear's gift—a free life-saving skill.

He only hoped the next two skill draws wouldn't let him down, especially since the system earmarked him as Yasuo.

The wheel spun... and stopped!

"I never hold back when fighting women!"

"King of the Underworld, Mighty Sett."

"Wait... it's the Strongman Brother? That’s something I never expected." Bai Mu felt a bit embarrassed facing this hero known for defeating female champions.

He already knew the method to get free skills: earn the heroes' approval, like offering fear to Fiddlesticks or chopping enemies with Dr. Mundo’s cleaver. But to gain Sett’s recognition, did it mean he’d have to fight women? That was something he absolutely could not bring himself to do.

"As for skills... I only fancy the ultimate. Killing with a girl in my arms, let’s see if luck favors me."

"Ping! Skill 'Dominance' drawn."

"Dominant Passion: Perform sit-ups on the spot. Each sit-up grants 1% boost to all attributes, up to 25%. Lasts 30 minutes. If a woman is present, the boost can reach 50%."

"Note: The first 25 sit-ups have a 30% chance of earning female admiration; the last 25 have a 30% chance of attracting male attention."

"Note: Moderate fitness attracts women; excessive fitness attracts men."

"What kind of crazy skill is this? Has the system gone mad? A 50% boost to all stats—that’s reminiscent of Eight Gates!" Bai Mu almost burst out laughing. The activation was odd, but the effect was frighteningly powerful.

A 50% boost to all attributes—life energy, chakra, speed, defense, everything. The effect was modest for now, but as his stats grew, it would become dramatically more significant.

Perhaps... he should keep a female companion nearby?

"Good things come in pairs—next draw! Surely the system will give me Yasuo now?" Bai Mu was determined.

"Ahem... certainly, certainly. I’ve set Yasuo’s chance to 99%." The system, possibly infected by Moonlight Gale, coughed incessantly.

"I have a feeling you’re setting me up..." Bai Mu eyed the roulette suspiciously.

Sure enough, only two hero portraits remained: one monopolizing 99% of the wheel’s area, the Happy Windman Yasuo; the other occupying a tiny corner, the Armored Armadillo.

"The system never tricks anyone. The only thing that does is luck."

The ridiculous black-and-white penguin pointer spun wildly, passing over the 99% red zone and landing squarely on the Armored Armadillo.

"Armored Armadillo? Rammus."

"How about a back massage?"

"Wow! Congratulations, you’ve got the Armored Armadillo!" The system applauded limply.

"You still claim you’re not cheating!" Bai Mu raged, twisting the penguin pointer to no avail, helplessly watching the neon frame jump onto the skill bar, undeniably landing on "Frenzied Taunt."

"Frenzied Taunt."

"Taunt a target, forcing them to attack recklessly and target you. Duration depends on the provocation."

"Note: Go learn how to greet people from Zaun!"

"System... your horse exploded..." Bai Mu mocked mercilessly, though the system had no horse.

He had accumulated a full 1,500 gold coins, still over a thousand short of the equipment he wanted. He didn’t plan to buy small items yet, preferring to adjust his purchases according to the situation.

Luckily, with Moonlight Gale and Uzuki Yugao—both canon characters—he might be able to squeeze some gold out of them.

...

Exiting the system space, Bai Mu interrupted White Absolute’s reminiscence.

"Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you be caring for Lord Madara?" Bai Mu glanced awkwardly at White Absolute.

It wasn’t that he disliked him; it was just... this guy was too talkative, unreliable, and his extreme protectiveness utterly ruined the gaming experience.

"Lord Madara is being cared for by that half-body thorny fellow. I’m worried about my little one and need to stay close for protection!" White Absolute covered his nonexistent face, blushing shyly.

"But you should’ve seen I can protect myself. I even scared off a Rock Hidden Jonin." Bai Mu had been a bit worried that White Absolute would become suspicious after seeing his performance—after all, he’d only been awake for less than a month, yet acted like a seasoned veteran...

But White Absolute, a mindless creature, clearly wouldn’t consider such things. He only cared about punchlines and poop.

"Which is exactly why I need to stay by your side as your finishing touch assistant!" White Absolute gave a thumbs up.

"Fine, fine... At least change your appearance. This look will scare everyone away." Bai Mu resigned himself, hoping White Absolute wouldn't make things worse.

"How about this!" White Absolute transformed into a voluptuous, curvy mature beauty, writhing seductively.

"...!" Two streams of nosebleed shot from Bai Mu’s nostrils.

"I’ve even thought of a name. You’re Bai Mu, so I’ll be Bai Jie, Bai Mu’s hot mama!" White Absolute winked coquettishly.

"My Japanese friend... Let me handle this. You turn into a blob of white clay, and I’ll sculpt your look myself." Bai Mu wiped his nosebleed.

White Absolute melted like a candle into a lump of white clay.

Bai Mu kneaded and shaped it, gradually revealing an Annie-like adorable loli. But as his hands pressed and squeezed, White Absolute gasped and moaned, veins bulging on Bai Mu’s forehead.

He’d wanted to craft a pretty, cute female hero. But thinking of White Absolute’s antics—calling himself mama while constantly flirting—the whole scenario felt like a scene straight out of a Japanese film.

Now... forget it!

If he actually made it, his reputation would be ruined for life.

Bai Mu’s hands grew more forceful, crushing White Absolute into a football-sized ball of white clay...

Ears, whiskers, legs, tail...

Perfect. The magical cat Yuumi emerged.

Due to White Absolute’s large size, even compressed, Yuumi was still a bit chubby.

Excellent—a fat Yuumi.

"Alright, if you want to stay by my side, this will be your form." Bai Mu dusted off his hands.

"Why am I so tiny now?" White Absolute, now animated, took a few steps and looked up at Bai Mu.

"This makes it easier to move around... More importantly... Bai Mu really loves when mama turns into a kitty!" Bai Mu forced a smile, cuddling the cat.

"Oh, oh, oh... From today, mama is a kitty..." White Absolute was thrilled.

"A name is needed... How about Yao?" Bai Mu snapped his fingers.

"Sounds like a dog!" White Absolute protested.

"Ah Fei!" Bai Mu decided to use White Absolute’s alias from the original story.

"Ah Fei it is! I’ll be Ah Fei!"

A magical cat named Ah Fei perched atop Bai Mu’s shoulder.