Chapter 117: The Con Begins

After the great wave, the Sunagakure camp was filled with joy. Everyone scrambled to plunge their heads into the puddles, drinking greedily and splashing water everywhere. Only those who have truly known thirst can understand such happiness.

Although the skill was called "Raging Surge," it had not summoned seawater, but rather groundwater from beneath the desert. After the surge, not only was the oasis lake filled, but puddles of all sizes were left behind.

Baimu basked in the ubiquitous looks of reverence, feeling that these ignorant natives of the ninja world had already been hoodwinked into his camp. With a little more effort, he might even be able to get himself crowned the State Preceptor of the Land of Wind.

"Is there truly such a thing as a god in this world?" Nonou asked from behind him, looking astonished.

"Oh? Why do you ask?" Baimu was surprised to find that even his own people had been fooled.

"To release a Water Style jutsu of such scale in the middle of the desert without even forming a single hand seal!! What else could this be but a miracle?!" Nonou’s face was full of resentment.

"Form... what are hand seals? Kakuzu, do you use hand seals?" Baimu looked with feigned innocence at Kakuzu, who was lying on the ground panning for gold dust.

"I don't," Kakuzu replied without lifting his head.

"Exactly. What kind of serious ninja uses hand seals?" Baimu agreed. He used to clap his hands together just to go through the motions, but now he was too lazy to even do that.

Nonou was nearly driven to distraction. These people were all crazier than the last. She needed to find the secret of the Uchiha treasure and leave this place as soon as possible, or she would be driven mad sooner or later.

...

Under the Kazekage's arrangements, the three of them were moved into the most luxurious tent available—though "luxury" was purely relative. Having exhausted his chakra, Baimu collapsed and fell asleep immediately.

Until he felt a slight wetness on his face. He opened his eyes and saw...

Holy crap! Fuuka was squatting on the ground, wearing a collar around her neck. She licked her lips alluringly and wagged a nonexistent tail. "Please whip me... Master... Fuuka really can't wait any longer..."

"I told you, not here! Get out!" Baimu waved his hand and glanced around. Kakuzu was still counting gold dust grain by grain—he didn't need to sleep anyway. Nonou was curled up in her bedding, presumably still asleep.

Even though beating Fuuka every day would help him master the "Jinfu" skill quickly, there were just too many people around here!

"I can wear a gag~" Fuuka said, biting down on a hollow ball and wagging her tail.

"You don't have to be so prepared!!!" Baimu even suspected she had a candle hidden somewhere.

"Please use your tentacles to whip me, Master... Ah~"

[Fuuka favorability +10]
[Fuuka favorability +10]
[Fuuka favorability +10]
...

"Sin, such sin... it is all for the sake of increasing my strength..." Baimu stroked his *Sacred Codex of Love* to repent for his transgressions, demanding that Fuuka never appear in public again.

"Lord Prophet, the Kazekage requests your presence," someone said softly from outside the tent.

"Understood, I will go at once." Baimu straightened his sacred missionary robes, called for Kakuzu and Nonou, and stepped out, heading to Rasa’s command tent.

"Lord Prophet, please take a seat." Rasa’s tone today was filled with awe. Based on that display of Water Style alone, which was unmatched in the ninja world, he deserved to sit in a position of equal standing.

"My thanks to the Kazekage for his hospitality." Baimu’s appetite was whetted by the desert-style breakfast on the table: thick, white camel milk, fragrant cheese, and even a bunch of fresh grapes.

"We have seen the power of the Prophet, and it is truly breathtaking... However, this *Sacred Codex of Love* of yours... I read it all night, turning the pages over and over, but I still don't understand. Did you perhaps bring the wrong book? This is clearly a very well-written piece of erotica!" Rasa asked hesitantly.

"Do you all share this confusion?" Baimu looked toward Granny Chiyo and the others.

"Yes, that is correct!" Granny Chiyo, Ebizo, and Maki all nodded in unison, dark circles under their eyes.

"To feel love, to accept love—those who do not understand love cannot understand true peace. Compared to tedious prayers and scriptures, a work of pure love is easier for people to empathize with. So... you have felt the love, haven't you?" Baimu smiled, stroking the codex.

"I have felt it! I feel like I've entered my second youth... Ho ho ho ho." Granny Chiyo touched her flushed cheeks and giggled foolishly.

"He can come up with such grand principles just from reading a pornographic novel... is this brat really only fourteen?" Nonou’s eye twitched as she silently took notes for new material.

#Shimura Danzo...#

"Very well... since that is the case, I will continue reading." Rasa solemnly placed *Icha Icha Paradise* back into his robes. "The water problem has been solved by the Prophet, and if all goes well, we won't lack water for months. But there is a new problem..."

"Please, Kazekage, speak your mind." Baimu bit into a piece of cheese, finding it a bit too salty.

"Iwagakure has reached a peace treaty with Konoha, which means the ninjas previously stationed at the Iwagakure front will be redirected here. We are... worried about Namikaze Minato..." Rasa found it hard to say, but who didn't fear the name "Yellow Flash"?

On one hand, he cursed Ohnoki for being a pig-headed teammate—couldn't he have held out for a few more months? At such a critical juncture, Iwagakure’s surrender had given Konoha, which was on the verge of collapse, a new lease on life.

Baimu smiled. "Rest assured, Namikaze Minato has gone to Kumogakure."

"How do you know... my apologies, I forgot the title of Prophet, Your Excellency." Rasa let out a breath of relief, not doubting Baimu’s words for a second. As long as Namikaze Minato didn't come, they would be fine; otherwise, they would have no choice but to retreat, as they had no way to counter him.

"Under the divine gaze of Cthulhu, all things are known," Baimu smiled.

"But... even if Namikaze Minato doesn't come, there may be reinforcements from others. We in Sunagakure... truly cannot hold on any longer. We lack puppet materials and ninja tools, and we have consumed vast amounts of medicine dealing with Orochimaru’s virulent poisons. Our logistics are failing." Rasa looked at the all-powerful Baimu with eyes full of expectation.

*Damn! Does he want me to pay for it?*

"Cthulhu has everything, but he has no money. I am truly unable to help with that," Baimu said, spreading his hands.

"Cough, very well..." Rasa coughed awkwardly.

"Apart from that, are there any other problems?" Baimu continued to ask.

"The most important point... we cannot beat Konoha." Rasa had completely abandoned his pride now. "We had a series of great victories at the beginning of the war and nearly reached the heart of the Land of Fire. But once Orochimaru organized their defenses, we were pushed back every single day. Now we have been completely driven back into the desert. We were hoping other villages would defeat Konoha, but who would have thought that old man Ohnoki would actually sign a peace treaty!"

*Ohnoki was hoping you guys would be more effective, too. If you had your throats slit by Namikaze Minato fifty times a day, you’d be on your knees begging for mercy too,* Baimu thought to himself.

"Hmm... I’ve discovered a problem. The reason the Iwagakure forces are so strong is because they have the Four-Tails and Five-Tails deployed. Where is your One-Tail Jinchuriki? The One-Tail should be very powerful in the desert, right?" Baimu asked curiously.

Rasa looked at Granny Chiyo and Ebizo, then shook his head helplessly.

"Lord Bunpuku is a high-ranking monk. When the One-Tail was killing and doing evil, he stepped forward and made himself the vessel for the Tailed Beast, sealing it away. To avoid harming the villagers, he bound himself within the Temple of Wind and has not taken a single step outside since... He is now ninety-nine years old and is no longer able to fight..." Granny Chiyo shook her head in resignation.

"If we had the One-Tail's help... we wouldn't be struggling so much," Ebizo couldn't help but complain.

But what could they do? Bunpuku was too old and had never fought a day in his life; his combat experience was virtually zero. They couldn't just throw him out there to be a one-time Tailed Beast bomb.

"Finding the next Jinchuriki is also a troublesome task..." Rasa massaged his forehead in a headache. A Tailed Beast couldn't be sealed by just anyone. If Bunpuku were to pass away, he didn't know how many people would have to be sacrificed to properly re-seal the beast.

"Why not ask the marvelous... all-knowing... handsome Prophet?" Baimu revealed a pure smile.

Nonou covered her eyes. Whenever Baimu smiled like that, she knew he was up to no good.