Chapter 35: Lord Huodou

The ghost messenger led them for a short while before stopping and pushing open a door. Liu Jun looked up and saw a sign: "Underworld Human Resources Office." He chuckled; if the big shots of the Underworld hadn't visited the mortal realm, he would rip the Fatty’s head off and kick it like a ball. Liu Jun was certain of it.

"Judge Cui instructed me to bring Taoist Li’s disciples here to register as auxiliary personnel," the messenger said to a ghost in the office.

The clerk looked at Liu Jun and the Fatty with surprise, then handed each of them a form. The form asked for: Name, Taoist Title, Master’s Lineage, Marital Status, Recommending Ghost, and whether they were volunteering to become Underworld auxiliary staff. Liu Jun and the Fatty filled them out quickly but got stuck at "Recommending Ghost." Which ghost were they supposed to list?

"Write down Judge Cui," the messenger who brought them said after glancing at their hesitation.

Once completed, they handed the forms to the ghost clerk. The clerk placed their forms into a large, square machine. Moments later, the machine spat out two tokens. The clerk handed them over, and Liu Jun took one, passing the one labeled "Intellectually Challenged" to the Fatty.

The token was about a centimeter thick and appeared to be made of bronze. The front was engraved with Liu Jun’s Taoist title, "Jin Qianzi," and the back depicted the city of Fengdu. As Liu Jun examined the token, the messenger spoke up.

"This is the 'Good and Evil Token,' invented by Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva after his last trip to the mortal realm. It serves not only as an Underworld pass but also records your merits, which can be exchanged for rewards. The Bodhisattva even thoughtfully added an 'automatic retrieval' feature, so you never have to worry about losing it."

What did Liu Jun just hear? An invention of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva? With an automatic retrieval system? He hadn't realized that, besides guiding souls in hell, the Bodhisattva moonlighted as an inventor.

Liu Jun and the Fatty were both left in a state of mental collapse. "Hello? Is this 120? Someone here needs their worldview reconstructed—please send help immediately."

"Oh, right, you need to drip a drop of blood onto the token, or it might not recognize you." Liu Jun and the Fatty, looking dazed, each dripped a drop of blood onto their tokens. A flash of golden light erupted from the tokens, accompanied by the sound of Buddhist chanting. *Heh, impressive. It even has startup effects and music.*

Although the token was bizarre, they were still pleased to be officially part of the Underworld system; they weren't working for free, after all.

They followed the messenger back toward Judge Cui’s station. Dog Brother saw them returning and sauntered over.

"Finished the orientation? Surprised? Shocked?" Dog Brother teased.

"I didn't feel any surprise, just that Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva is quite trendy. It’s a bit hard to process," Liu Jun replied expressionlessly. His worldview recovery was currently at 30 percent.

"You’ll get used to it. Think about it: the mortal realm is developing, so why should it be strange for the Underworld to have some tech gadgets?" Dog Brother had a point; their thinking had been too narrow. Worldview recovery: 70 percent.

***

Dog Brother led Liu Jun and the Fatty back along the path they had come. As they approached the Ghost Gate Pass, before they could even cross it, a roar erupted:

"Huodou! You menace! You plucked my fur, and you dare to return to the Underworld!" Di Ting possessed immense power; his voice arrived before he did.

"Why are you being so stingy? When Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva grooms you, you lose plenty of fur anyway. What’s the big deal if I plucked a little?" Dog Brother retorted dismissively.

*Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva grooms Di Ting?* The mental imagery was too much. *Hello, your worldview has collapsed again. Recovery: zero.*

"That’s not the same! That’s shedding. You plucked me until the skin was visible! You menace, enough talk—prepare to die!" A giant beast resembling a lion appeared before them and launched an attack without a second thought.

"Brother Liu, look at this Di Ting—he really does look like a white-haired poodle," the Fatty whispered. As soon as he said it, Liu Jun knew they were in trouble.

Who was Di Ting? It was said that he possessed the ability to "hear eight hundred miles while sitting, and three thousand while lying down." He was known for his ability to distinguish the sounds of all things in the world, especially the human heart, allowing him to judge good and evil. Even though the Fatty whispered, Di Ting definitely heard him.

Indeed, the already furious Di Ting let out a roar, transforming into a massive white jade lion. He swiped his claws, creating a whirlwind that descended upon them. In that instant, Liu Jun felt incredibly small; they could be reduced to a pile of meat under those giant claws at any moment.

"Get past the Ghost Gate! I’ll hold him off!" Dog Brother transformed into a massive black dog wreathed in flames, his presence no less imposing than Di Ting’s.

Liu Jun and the Fatty scrambled past the Ghost Gate and waited on the other side. They had to admit, seeing these titans fight was spectacular—Buddhist light and flames flew everywhere, and the entire Ghost Gate Pass shook.

Far away at the Underworld Judicial Arbitration Office, Judge Cui set down his brush and sighed at his slightly trembling desk. "Master Huo is fighting with Lord Di Ting again."

After a short while, Dog Brother reappeared in his smaller form before Liu Jun. He glanced at Di Ting on the other side of the gate and offered a parting taunt: "White-haired dog, let's play another day. I’m off, no need to see me out."

"You menace! If you have the guts, come back in and fight me for three hundred rounds! See if I don't kill you!" Di Ting roared in rage.

"Tsk, tsk, if you have the guts, come out here. If you won't come out, I’m leaving. Don't say I didn't give you a chance for a one-on-one." Dog Brother sneered, gave Di Ting a look of contempt, and turned to leave. Liu Jun and the Fatty followed quickly. They had to—if Di Ting actually stepped out, it would be a miracle if he didn't squash them like ants.

***

Di Ting remained on the other side of the Ghost Gate, stomping in rage and hurling curses.

"Dog Brother, can you not beat Di Ting?" Liu Jun asked hesitantly.

"It’s not that I can't beat him. Our strength is about equal, but I can't go all out—it would cause too much trouble. Plus, if we kept fighting and Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva intervened, I wouldn't fare well."

"Dog Brother, since you’re so powerful, why don't you fly us back and forth?" the Fatty asked.

"Fly? Do you have wings? If you don't have wings, what are you blathering about?" Dog Brother replied with disdain.

Dog Brother had a point; without wings, there was no point in talking about flying. When they reached the spot where they had descended, Dog Brother gave a shout, and they were back in the shop. "Stay here. You’ll feel a bit dizzy after returning; don't panic, it’s just your soul reacquainting itself with the body. I’m going upstairs." It was clear Dog Brother was exhausted from leading them through the Underworld and fighting Di Ting. *Right, Di Ting.*

"Fatty, what did Di Ting call Dog Brother?" Liu Jun turned to ask.

"A menace?" the Fatty replied. *Thud.* A meditation cushion flew down from upstairs and knocked the Fatty to the ground.

"Are you stupid? I meant his name!" *Some people just don't understand that curiosity kills the cat.*

"It seems he called him Huodou." Liu Jun slowly took out his phone—the side effects of their journey were hitting him hard. He typed "Huodou" into the search bar.

*Huodou looks like an ordinary dog, but its entire coat is black with a unique luster. A few have split tails, but otherwise, there’s nothing special. In fact, you couldn't tell anything was different just by looking. But this didn't stop them from serving as assistants to the Fire God; sometimes, when the Fire God was absent, the Huodou would even take over the divine duties.*

*Wow, Dog Brother is awesome.* As the assistant to Zhurong, the ancient Fire God, it was only natural he could fight Di Ting to a draw. *Must cling to this thigh—Liu Jun loved it, it was so thick.*