Chapter Thirty-Three: The Millennium Tai Sui

Just as Liu Jun collapsed, a massive black dog, standing as tall as a single-story building, appeared before him. Had he been conscious, he surely would have shouted, "Brother Dog, save me!"

The black dog circled Liu Jun twice and let out a soft sigh. It reached a paw underneath its own belly and pulled out a jade box, which was continuously emitting a frigid chill. Seemingly unfazed by the cold, the dog pried open the box with its claw and retrieved something that looked like a piece of discolored pork.

It first tossed a small piece to the Fatty, then looked at the unconscious Liu Jun and pondered for a moment. Gently, it pulled the bronze sword from Liu Jun’s body; blood gushed out instantly, the kind of wound that would take ten servings of pig blood soup to replenish. Brother Dog quickly pried open Liu Jun’s mouth, stuffed a large chunk of the object from the jade box inside, and tapped his jaw, forcing the substance down his esophagus.

Miraculously, within seconds of the object entering Liu Jun’s stomach, the bleeding stopped, and the wound began to heal. Though the recovery was slow, it was undeniably mending.

At this moment, the man in the suit woke up. Rubbing his eyes, he stared at Brother Dog in sheer terror. Indeed, a black dog the size of a building was a frightening sight. Seeing the man awake, Brother Dog leaped away and vanished.

When Liu Jun finally awoke, he was greeted by the familiar sight of the hospital ceiling, the hospital bed, and the young nurse. Although he was back in the hospital, he felt relieved—at least he had survived. *Goodbye, Grandmaster,* he thought, *I’ll come play with you another day.*

"You really are something," the nurse said, looking at him. "You just got discharged, and here you are again. Do you think the hospital is your home?"

Liu Jun thought to himself: *Do you think I want to lie here? It’s just that I wasn’t strong enough to win. I’d love to be like a novel protagonist, beating up vengeful spirits in three days and crushing great demons in five, but my strength doesn't allow for it.*

"Don’t give me a hard time," Liu Jun replied. "Just tell me, how long do I have to stay this time?" Last time it was a week, and this injury was worse, so he expected a long stay.

"One day," she replied. *My dear Grandmaster,* Liu Jun thought, *what kind of injury do I have that the hospital has already given up on me?*

"You were brought in covered in blood, but after a round of examinations, we found nothing wrong. After a day of observation, you can be discharged."

Her dramatic pause nearly scared him to death. *Wait, that’s not right,* Liu Jun remembered clearly being pierced through by a bronze sword. How could he be fine?

"Are you sure I’m fine?" Liu Jun asked, skeptical.

"Do you *want* to be injured?" the nurse asked, puzzled.

"No, no, this is perfect." The nurse glanced at him, reminded him to be careful, and left.

Shortly after the nurse departed, the Fatty arrived.

"Brother Liu, you’re awake?"

"No, I’m talking to you in my sleep."

"Heh heh, Brother Liu, let me tell you, you looked so cool blocking that sword for me. I was moved to tears; if I were a woman, I’d offer my hand in marriage to repay you for saving my life."

"Stop, get that filthy thought out of your head," Liu Jun said, feeling nauseated. A three-hundred-pound man turning into a woman to marry him—was this repayment or vengeance?

"What happened after I passed out last night? How did my sword wound heal?" Liu Jun felt something must have happened; there was no way a puncture wound could heal overnight.

"After you passed out, Brother Dog showed up and fed you a big chunk of something from a jade box, and then you were healed. I ate a little bit too, and it cured the poison. I don’t know what he gave us, but it felt incredibly precious."

*Obviously,* Liu Jun thought. *If it weren't precious, it wouldn't have such an effect.* He owed Brother Dog a massive favor now.

After tidying up, he had the Fatty handle the discharge, then got up to go home and rest. He still had to work his shift that night.

Back at the shop that evening, Liu Jun picked up a book on talismans and began to practice. Since he arrived early, Brother Dog hadn't come down yet.

Around eleven o'clock, Brother Dog strolled slowly over to the counter.

"Brother Dog, what was that you fed us? My injury healed in just one night," Liu Jun asked.

"Millennium Tai Sui," Brother Dog replied, concise and clear.

"The Tai Sui that can revive the dead, regrow flesh and bone, and grant immortality?" Liu Jun was ecstatic. *Immortality! I’m basically Tang Monk meat now!* He had read about the Tai Sui before.

It was also known as *Rou Lingzhi* (Meat Ganoderma). Li Shizhen’s *Compendium of Materia Medica* recorded: "It is shaped like meat, attached to large rocks, possessing both head and tail; it is a living creature. The red is like coral, the white like fat, the black like lacquer, the green like kingfisher feathers, and the yellow like purple gold; all are luminous and clear like solid ice." It was classified under the "Vegetable" section, edible and medicinal, honored as a "superior classic," with the efficacy of "prolonged consumption leading to a light body, eternal youth, and longevity like an immortal."

Brother Dog had fed them a Millennium Tai Sui—something even ancient emperors couldn't obtain.

"You’re exaggerating," Brother Dog shook his head. "Even a Millennium Tai Sui that has gained sentience cannot truly bring back the dead or regrow bones. You were only alive because you still had breath left, which is why it could save you. Don't even talk about immortality." Liu Jun sighed—his dream of immortality had been shattered before it even began.

"Also, what Old Man Li gave you is basic introductory Taoist training. At your current pace, you’ll be beaten to death before you even get started. While your body hasn't fully absorbed the Tai Sui yet, take this heart-cultivation manual for internal energy and physical strengthening. You’re just too pathetic." Brother Dog tossed him an ancient-looking book.

*I don't want to be pathetic, I've only been cultivating for a few days!* Liu Jun lamented. It was just too difficult.

He picked up the book and looked at the title: *Taixuan Heart Manual*. He opened the first page:

"Close your eyes, calm your mind, sit still, and focus your spirit. Tap your teeth thirty-six times, embrace the 'Kunlun' with both hands. Tap the back of your head twenty-four times... stir the 'Red Dragon' to mix the fluid... swallow the 'Divine Water' in three gulps... hold your breath and rub your hands until warm, then massage the 'Essence Gate' on your back..." It went on and on. And he couldn't understand a word of it.

Liu Jun wanted to ask Brother Dog for help, but seeing him curled up by the counter with his eyes closed, he didn't dare disturb him. He took out his phone and turned to the all-knowing Baidu. Studying bit by bit, he practiced gradually. Surprisingly, he didn't feel like he had a body of steel and iron, but he did feel a warm sensation throughout his body—the kind where you wouldn't even need a down jacket in winter. It saved money, at least.

He practiced all night. In the morning, he tidied up, locked the shop, and went home to sleep. On the way back, watching the young women in their light summer outfits, he sighed, "They're so fair."

"Brother, you say 'fair skin hides a hundred flaws,' but 'one bit of fat ruins everything.' So, what am I?"

"Have you ever heard of a creature called a maggot?" Liu Jun replied after a moment of contemplation.

The Fatty went silent instantly. They walked home in silence, ready for bed.