Chapter Twenty-Two: The Dragon Rider

"What is Huang Ze's blood type?"

"O."

"What fruit does Huang Ze dislike the most?"

"Durian!"

"During the temple fair you attended back in your hometown in the summer of 2002, what left the deepest impression on Huang Ze?"

"I got lost... No, that's not right, I wasn't lost—you all forgot about me! I chased after your car, crying, for over a hundred meters, and none of you even noticed... Afterwards, you gave me fifty cents to buy my silence and told me not to hold a grudge."

"..."

"During the 2003 New Year, Huang Ze was given a good beating by his father. What was the reason?"

"He played with firecrackers... dumped the gunpowder into Dad's ashtray, forgot to clean it up, and scared him half to death."

"Has Huang Ze ever had a girlfriend?"

"No... Dad, why are you bringing that up? Do you have to embarrass me like this?"

The dragon felt thoroughly insulted and couldn't help complaining.

"So you know to save face—if you care so much, why not find someone?"

"I've told you so many times, it's just that fate hasn't come yet. You can't force these things."

"..."

"Alright then, Colonel Liu, this black dragon is definitely our foolish son," Huang Kangping declared to Liu Weihan, utterly convinced by the dragon's flawless answers.

"Excellent!" Liu Weihan was overjoyed. Now that the parents themselves had confirmed it, the fact that the black dragon was indeed Huang Ze from Xia was practically undeniable.

"Colonel Liu, can we get close to Huang Ze?"

"Of course," Liu Weihan replied with a smile. "But you'll need to wear protective suits. Otherwise, his draconic aura might harm your bodies."

...

"My poor child... How did you become like this?" Mother Pan Xiaolin caressed Huang Ze's fierce and ugly head, unable to hold back her tears.

"Mom, don't cry! Aren't I doing fine?" the dragon hurried to comfort her. "It's just becoming a dragon, that's all—just a change of skin. It's nothing serious. I'm still your good son, aren't I?"

"How is this fine... So ugly—how are you ever going to find a wife?" Pan Xiaolin said, heartbroken. "Poor me, at my age, and still no grandchild. How will I ever face our neighbors again?"

"Mom, you can't judge a dragon by human standards of beauty!" the dragon protested. "By dragon aesthetics, I’m actually not ugly at all—in fact, I’m considered mighty and handsome!"

"Besides, it’s not like I won’t have a chance to turn back into a human."

"Really?" Pan Xiaolin stopped sobbing, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Of course!"

"Alright, then I have a question, and you must answer honestly."

"Go ahead, Mom, ask anything."

"When you find a partner, do you plan to choose a human or a female dragon?"

"Of course a human!" the dragon blurted out.

"Why? What’s wrong with a female dragon?"

"Mom, listen to yourself." Huang Ze was both amused and exasperated. "I was born human—so isn’t it natural that I’d want a human partner?"

"Can’t you be more open-minded?" Pan Xiaolin pressed, unwilling to give up. "Humans only have one or two children at a time, but a female dragon lays a whole clutch!"

"Mrs. Pan Xiaolin, please remember you’re human. Don’t make absurd comparisons over such matters!" the dragon retorted, half laughing, half annoyed.

"How is this an absurd comparison?" Pan Xiaolin argued righteously. "I’m being practical here—dragons are simply more prolific! Now that you’re a dragon, your thinking ought to be more flexible. Ideally, you’d marry a female dragon and give our country several clutches of dragon babies. Think what a contribution that would be..."

"Enough, Mom! I refuse to discuss this any further!"

"Huang Kangping, just look at him—every time this topic comes up, he’s like this! He’ll be the death of me!" Pan Xiaolin exclaimed angrily, giving the dragon’s head a few sharp knocks—she’d meant to pinch him, but the black dragon’s hide was too thick for that.

"Alright, this reunion cost us enough already. Let’s not dwell on such distant matters," Huang Kangping tried to smooth things over. "Son, can you take your mother and me for a flight? Let us feel what it’s like to be dragon riders?"

"Of course! That’s no problem!"

"You really shouldn’t!"

Two voices rang out almost at the same time—the first from the black dragon, the second, unable to hold back, from Liu Weihan.

"Why not, Colonel Liu?" Huang Kangping, his wife, and the dragon all looked at Liu Weihan in puzzlement.

"It’s simply too dangerous!" Liu Weihan explained. "Look, Mr. Huang—Huang Ze’s back is now over two meters wide, covered in smooth scales, with nowhere to hold on. You couldn’t even sit securely on him, let alone fly around!"

"Unless you were hanging from his claws, but that’s not safe either. The air currents up there are fierce, and without proper protection, the consequences of an accident could be disastrous!"

"That does make sense..." Huang Kangping nodded in agreement after careful thought. "With a body that size, he’s really not suited as a mount... So all those tales of dragon riders in fantasy novels are just pure fiction?"

"Exactly!" Liu Weihan smiled and nodded. "The idea of a dragon rider sounds wonderful, but it’s really just an author’s fantasy. It’s extremely unlikely in reality."

"See, dragons are usually over ten meters long. That means a human rider would need a lance at least six meters long to even reach an enemy target."

"But as we all know, the longer a weapon, the harder it is to wield. Even cavalry with long lances on horseback mostly use them as single-use weapons in a charge—they’re difficult to recover. More often, they fight with sabers or swords."

"Riding a dragon is much harder than riding a horse—not just because a dragon’s dives are faster and more dangerous, but because dragons have wings that need constant flapping to stay aloft. That leaves even less room for the rider to swing a weapon and means they must be even more careful—not to mention the risk of hitting their own mount instead of the enemy!"

"So this seemingly perfect combination of dragon and human knight is, in practice, nothing more than one plus one not equaling two."

"Really..." Huang Ze couldn’t help his surprise. Though deep down he’d always found the term "dragon rider" a bit offensive—using a dragon as a mount was rather degrading, after all, and the very idea was enough to make any dragon see red.

But then he thought: If a Western fantasy world didn’t even have legendary dragon riders, wouldn’t that make it feel just a bit less magical?