One Hundred and Twenty-Five: The Functions of Carrots (Part One)

When a woman—especially a pretty one—has her cheeks flushed with charming shyness, a hint of bashfulness lingering between her brows, her lips slightly parted, and her hazy eyes half-open, looking at you with an expression of ardent anticipation and deep affection; and when you know that she is harboring a fiery craving to encourage you, guide you, and need you, then as a normal man, if you say that your heart does not surge with a strange ripple, making you feel a bit flustered and short of breath, you must be lying.

Right now, my heart is very flustered.

A thin layer of sweat covers my forehead, and I feel my breathing become heavy and rapid under such a gaze. A strong sense of morality and honor compels me to refuse such an unreasonable request, but the most intense part of life's instinct makes it impossible for me to refuse the woman in front of me. Looking at her eager expression, I feel a trace of pity in my heart, yet I inevitably and slowly approach her, extending my right hand. My palm is warm and thick, made somewhat slippery by fine sweat. I reach it deep inside, and when I pull it out again, my hand already holds something.

"Ah..." The woman lets out a sigh of satisfaction, then looks at my right hand with shyness and anticipation, asking in her delicate voice, "You... don't you want more?"

My nervous system seems to be impacted by something innate, causing me temporary aphasia, leaving me to panic and stammer under her expectant gaze: "Uh... well... you..."

Finally, I gather all the courage in my body, struggling to focus my flickering gaze onto the woman's face, and bravely ask:

"...Well... can it be a little cheaper?"

This is the process of how I purchased potions from Guild Master Vayne. What? Did you misunderstand? How is that possible? Wasn't I clear enough?

Fine. I will narrate it in a way you can understand: Look, she eagerly encouraged me and hoped I would buy more potions. And although I did not want to satisfy her nature of profiteering, the instinct to struggle for survival—without a doubt the most intense part of life's instinct—forced me to yield. I reached my hand into my backpack, pulled out a stack of gold coins, hoping to buy some potions. Vayne cheered in satisfaction, and then hoped I would shell out even more money—dammit, I am a well-educated, cultured battle warrior with higher education in alchemy, poised manners, and elegant speech, yet I always encounter listeners like you who only like straightforward, bland, and dull narratives. Life is truly helpless...

However, no matter what, bargaining with the Guild Master whom I have always deeply revered and admired is indeed something that requires great courage. When these words slip past my lips, the inner shyness and panic inevitably trigger a strong physical reaction: my whole body goes soft, and only one place is hard.

Uh... of course you must know I am talking about my gallbladder—what else could it possibly be?

Guild Master Vayne expresses absolute disapproval of my bargaining approach: "Each potion only makes a profit of ten silver coins from you, which is cheap enough. You must know, once this mission is completed, your rewards will be far greater than this..."

For a brave hero dedicated to saving the world, the various benefits promised by the Guild Master are not particularly attractive—no matter how great those benefits might be, shouldn't we save the world from the brink of destruction first? I am more concerned about using the cash on hand to buy a couple more backup potions to avoid running into shortages during future perilous battles.

"Please, Guild Master, it's a good thing you temporarily swapped the team members to include me. Think about it, if I weren't standing at the front, and you followed your original plan to bring that paper-thin swordsman Buddha's Smile with you guys, what would your current situation be?"

"Well, if it were him..." Vayne lowers her head in contemplation for a moment, then raises her head with a look of regret, saying with utter annoyance, "...I probably could have sold two more bottles of potions..."

Me: "..."

Negotiations fail, and it seems I truly have no better choice. At this point, I do not realize that there are many things in this world that undergo dramatic turnarounds precisely amidst seemingly desperate helplessness. Just as I am enduring the heart-wrenching pain of pulling more gold coins from my body, Wild Goose Array—the Elven Beastmaster who had impulsively spent all her bullets—suddenly lets out a soft cry as if remembering something. Oh... her startled cry draws our attention, and thank goodness my payment process is thus interrupted. Everyone looks at her in confusion—before reaching the even narrower flat terrain, let us first forget about String Song Elegance lying face down on the ground playing dead—wanting to know what her cry signifies.

Realizing she has attracted our attention, Wild Goose Array looks somewhat bashful and a bit urgent. She says somewhat uncertainly: "I suddenly remembered... my Bunny-Wipe-Wipe has just learned a little healing spell."

"Then why didn't you take it out sooner!" My eyes light up, followed by a trace of annoyance, and I cannot help complaining.

"That's because..." Wild Goose Array panics slightly and hurries to explain, "...its spell level is too low, and the restored vitality is a bit..." She raises her head to look at us apologetically, pauses, and continues, "...little!"

When Wild Goose Array summons the first "battle pet" she ever tamed from the Beastmaster's magical space—a fluffy, petite little white rabbit with ruby-red small eyes and two sharp, slender long ears named "Bunny-Wipe-Wipe"—the little fellow is hugging a carrot about the thickness of a pinky finger, squinting its eyes, and lazily rolling around on the ground. When it discovers that the surrounding environment has changed and that so many tall, ferocious, and uninvited monsters have suddenly appeared all around, it immediately panics, holds the carrot, and hops behind Wild Goose Array's trouser leg, then peeks out half its head with extreme vigilance to observe secretly. Seeing that the few of us "terrifying and giant strange monsters" are unanimously casting "fierce" gazes filled with anticipation toward it, it is so frightened that it almost drops the carrot onto the snowy ground, quickly closes its eyes, pulls its head back behind Wild Goose Array's calf, and tightly clasps its precious carrot with its two tiny front paws.

Well... little fellow, you cannot hide like that. It seems... your ears are still sticking out...

Having not seen this cute little fellow for a long time, our cold-blooded Guild Master Vayne instantly fails to suppress the suddenly overflowing maternal care deep within her heart. With an expression of amazement, she pulls Bunny-Wipe-Wipe into her arms, holding it with her left hand while extending the index finger of her right hand to gently scratch Bunny-Wipe-Wipe's belly. The little fellow is terrified at first, curling its entire body tightly and closing its eyes firmly, pressing the carrot against its bosom with its front paws, refusing to feel secure even then, tightly biting down on it with its little mouth for fear of being robbed. But a moment later, Vayne's scratching gradually relaxes its vigilance. It slowly spreads out its limbs, stretches its body with a cozy expression, and rubs its head gently back and forth against Vayne's fingers.

"Hehe... look, look, it can even stretch..." Vayne screams with rare ignorance and overflowing tenderness. Cradling this cute little rabbit feels as warm as spring.

Yet in the blink of an eye, she raises her head indifferently once more, her face filled with frost, looking at us coldly with the ruthlessness of an autumn wind sweeping fallen leaves:

"Who is going to sacrifice some vitality? We need to test its magical power..."

Putting this ruthless suggestion into practice takes no effort at all. We advance only about a hundred steps before instantly drawing the attention of a group of Bigfoot Savages once again. I bear the brunt and fall into encirclement yet again, and the red bodily fluids carrying my life force spray in all directions. I can only look helplessly as the health bar above my head gradually dwindles.

Bunny-Wipe-Wipe lazily raises its small head, its two front paws still tightly clutching that carrot, and its pair of small red eyes looks at us with a somewhat dull and bewildered expression. This sluggish little fellow seems unaware that it is witnessing a life-or-death battle. In my view, it has zero interest in the bloodstained, unlucky wretch—namely myself—being beaten up by a mob in the center of the crowd, while taking quite a fancy to the soft layer of snow blanketing the ground.

Just as I am about to lose my patience, this nonchalant rabbit finally realizes its responsibility. Under Wild Goose Array's continuous encouragement and urging, it finally extends its right claw and very reluctantly waves it twice toward me.

A sacred ray of light descends from the sky, enveloping me in its embrace. An indescribable sense of holiness fills my body and soothes my soul. I feel my entire body infused with a wave of vital joy, and high above in the unseen realms, the merciful God generously bestows His grace upon me, allowing my humble body to receive a warm nourishment. This warm current washes over my body, granting a regenerative, soul-level redemption. Facing the cloud-obscured sky, I raise my head in gratitude. Under the loving radiance of this divine light, I see several large green characters symbolizing goodwill and salvation joyfully rising from the top of my head...

This pitiful amount of life force cannot even compensate for the loss from a sneeze. I now understand why Wild Goose Array felt embarrassed when mentioning this rabbit's healing power...

As soon as it finishes using this holy-type recovery magic called "Blessing of Life," the rabbit immediately pulls the carrot back into its embrace tightly, its little red eyes darting around stealthily as if terrified that someone will harbor evil intentions toward its little treasure. But a moment later, it angrily discovers that the recovery spell it just spent mental effort casting seems to have had no effect at all—the beaten fellow is still struggling desperately, and the mob of attackers has not held back in the slightest.

Bunny-Wipe-Wipe appears somewhat annoyed, its red pupils contracting into tiny pinpoints. It struggles to hop forward through the snow... um... crawl... um... waddle a few steps—this short-legged chubby guy finds traversing the snow truly strenuous—and then once again raises that magical carrot, waving it forcefully twice toward me.

A green beam of light shoots from the base of the carrot, illuminating my body. I can feel a surging vitality blooming within me, and endless life force radiating from my bone marrow and blood vessels, continuously nourishing along my meridians and muscles. As a result, I gain a life-saving recovery of... well... twenty health points per second.

This healing magic named "Nature's Caress" astonishes me greatly—not because the vitality it restores is pathetically small, which naturally is surprisingly meager indeed—but because what shocks me most is that this lazy and cocky little rabbit is actually able to cast a holy-type spell and immediately follow it up with a nature-type healing spell. All of this unmistakably demonstrates that this rabbit simultaneously embodies the sacred majesty of two high-tier deities: the Supreme God Darimos and the Nature Goddess Nachenia.

Hey! Are you kidding me?! It is merely a stupid, sleepy, chubby rabbit! It would rather stretch than casually toss out a prayer, yet it is simultaneously favored and blessed by two deities? I believe that if this news gets out, at least half of the world's priests, clerics, holy maidens, and other divine personnel under various titles will travel thousands of miles here to stew it skin and fur into a pot of bunny soup, then devour it down to the last fragment of bone with unprecedented, massive piety.

The remaining half would probably choose to braise it in soy sauce...

And in truth, my shock has only just begun.

Having just squandered the sacred power bestowed by the Nature Goddess, Bunny-Wipe-Wipe immediately reaches its left front paw behind its backside, squinting its eyes with an expression of supreme enjoyment as it scratches its soft, furry little buttock. Then, with a flick of its hand, it pulls out a thick, massive, slightly taller than itself, brilliantly colored, juicy... um... carrot.

Don't ask me, because I would also love to know where it pulled that thing out from!

*(Sorry for the one-week delay in updating.*

*God is a chick is wrong; Lady Vayne's decision was arranged all along, including not bringing healing.*

*Moreover, although Lady Vayne's personality is not accepted by many readers, I wonder if you noticed earlier: has the poor exploited class ever actually suffered a loss following the Guild Master? The reward for this mission will also be very generous.*

*The reason for the late release is that Bunny-Wipe-Wipe's skills are very difficult to write. Even written like this, it still feels a bit awkward.*

*Serves me right! Who told me to only focus on adding some Q-style pets at the beginning?*

*However, badass pets are just as hard to write...*

*Chit-chat aside, we will return to the main plot in Chapter 127.*

*Also, a friendly recommendation: Lefan has a spherical sheep plush doll that is exceptionally cute, serving as the prototype for the pet Little Sheep. Its appearance, texture, and elasticity are superb. I fell in love with it at first sight last year—and this is also the first time in my life I actively bought a plush doll for myself. One of my great joys after marriage is bouncing it on the bed like a basketball. Now I believe such joy should not be selfishly kept to oneself, but made public so more people can share it. Interested friends can buy one to enjoy with me—Note: Absolutely not an ad.*

*I hope to update two more chapters this week............)*