Chapter 86: Devastated by Grief

When I awoke, I found myself lying on a bed. The Nine-Tailed Fox sat beside me, holding a damp cloth and gently wiping my forehead.

“Where am I? Where is Qinghuan?” I realized my voice had changed, becoming hoarse.

“You’re awake. You’ve been unconscious for two days. You must be hungry. I’ll go make you something to eat.”

“Where is Qinghuan?” I grabbed the Nine-Tailed Fox’s sleeve. I remembered losing consciousness—Xu Qinghuan, she…

The thing I dreaded most had still come to pass. Though the Nine-Tailed Fox tried to conceal the truth, insisting Xu Qinghuan was being treated and would soon recover, I trusted my own eyes. I was certain Xu Qinghuan was dead.

I asked the Nine-Tailed Fox to leave me alone. Leaning against the headboard, my heart weighed heavy as never before. I had never imagined such a day would come—my beloved gone from me. I would have preferred betrayal to this eternal separation, never to meet again in this life.

I closed my eyes, and every memory with Xu Qinghuan surfaced, scene by scene, moment by moment.

“Yunfei, will you take me to your world? I’d love to see it.”

“Yes, I promise. One day I’ll take you, and Yujing too—we’ll all go to the twenty-first century together.”

Qinghuan, didn’t we agree to go to the twenty-first century together? How could you leave me behind… I lit a cigarette; the bitter smoke stung my lungs with pain. I threw off the blanket and got out of bed. The wounds I’d suffered underground had healed, but the one in my heart—I didn’t know when, or if, it ever would.

Some sat, some stood, lost in thought in the courtyard. When they saw me emerge, Yujing hurried to support me. Qin Tian patted my shoulder without a word.

“Where is Qinghuan?” How I longed for Xu Qinghuan to appear before me, eyes wide, saying, “Silly, I’m right here, perfectly fine.” But that was impossible. No matter how I tried to evade it, I had to face the truth.

Qin Tian led me into a side room. Xu Qinghuan’s body lay quietly on the bed. Qin Tian and Yujing stood silently at the door. I entered, gathered her cold body into my arms, and tears spilled down my face.

“Qinghuan, how could you leave me like this? What am I supposed to do now?” Time seemed to freeze. No one spoke. I sat there all afternoon, holding Xu Qinghuan’s lifeless body.

Night fell. Yujing and Qin Tian came to comfort me.

“Old Li, the dead can’t return. I know you’re in pain, but you need to pull yourself together. You’re a man—a brother. Tonight, let us drink with you.”

Yujing echoed, “Qin Tian is right. We’re all grieving for Lady Qinghuan, but you can’t drown in your sorrow. Be strong, Brother Li.”

I showed no expression, sitting numbly by the bed, gazing at the woman who could never again stay by my side. Why did fate have to be so cruel? At first, perhaps I saw her merely as a substitute for Liu Tingting, but in time, I truly fell in love with her—love from the depths of my heart. Liu Tingting faded from memory; I’d vowed to protect Qinghuan for a lifetime. Though I’d once been entangled with the Nine-Tailed Fox, for which I always felt guilty, she’d sensibly kept her distance. When everything calmed down, we could have led a simple, happy life. Why didn’t you wait for me… why?

I lay on her bed, wanting only to be with her a little longer. Qin Tian and Yujing left. My nose tingled; tears welled up again. For the last time, I combed her hair, taking a deep breath. “High Priest, I’ll make you suffer before you die.”

I clenched my fists so tightly my nails dug into my palms. A drop of blood fell onto her chest; I hurried to wipe it away, but the bloodstain vanished. I wiped my eyes and left the room, forced at last to accept reality.

Murong Xue cooked a lavish dinner herself. The brothers of the Azure Dragon Society lit torches in the courtyard, sitting in a circle around the table. Inside, Qin Tian came out and helped me to the main seat. He took several bottles of Moutai from the twenty-first century out of his space ring, poured me a bowl, and I downed it in one gulp, hoping the burning liquor might dispel my grief. I seized the Moutai from Qin Tian’s hand and drank it straight from the bottle.

“Old Li, I know you’re hurting. We’re all here with you. Don’t bottle it up—if you must cry, cry.” Qin Tian handed me another bottle, trying to console me.

I said little, only drank and drank. Gradually, the alcohol took effect; my head grew heavy. Seeing I’d nearly had enough, Yujing snatched the bottle from my hand. Whatever he said, I didn’t hear—I only wanted to be truly drunk.

“Don’t mind me. If you’re my brothers, get drunk with me!” I set the empty bottle on the table; it fell and shattered on the ground with a crash. Yujing and Qin Tian each took up a bottle of Moutai and drained them in one go.

“And me as well, Young Master Li. If you wish to be drunk, we’ll drink with you.” Murong Xue also took a bottle and drank a large mouthful.

“Yes, perhaps it’s best to be drunk once. Hopefully, when the wine’s effects wear off, we’ll see the strong Yunfei we once knew.” The Nine-Tailed Fox poured a bowl for Xiao Xiang Ke’er and drank it down.

None could say how long we drank; not until the candles burned out. All three women were drunk, slumped over the table without a care for appearances. Qin Tian pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one for me and Yujing. Riding the wave of alcohol, he began to tell his own tragic past.

“It was five years ago. I was only nineteen, attending a prestigious university. With my outstanding grades, I was the center of attention. The campus belle was a girl named Xiao Xin, about my age—a match made in heaven, people said. It was Xiao Xin who pursued me. After we got together, countless people were envious. There was a gang at the school, powerful enough that even the staff gave them face. One day, they dragged Xiao Xin into their car. When I got the news, I went to the supermarket, bought a watermelon knife, and stormed their hideout alone. I was stabbed several times and killed their leader. Xiao Xin took a fatal blow for me…”

No wonder Qin Tian turned to the underworld. So even this usually carefree man had his share of suffering. Yujing clapped his shoulder, “Brothers, let’s forget the past and start anew!”

Qin Tian stubbed out his cigarette, raised his bottle. “Yujing is right. Old Li, tomorrow will be better!”

I lifted my bottle, drained it in one go. Forget the past, start anew—can I truly forget?